(Blog re-loaded from 3rd March 2015)
I’ve not blogged for some time, so why now? Well I’m now 2 years into my adventure with Leadership Insight (LI) and I’m in a great place both with my clients and own LI journey.
So much so that I’m really focusing in on some of the key moments that have sparked change, real transformation and shift in me.
As I embark on a more detailed piece around emotion, a paper, I will need to dive into these in more depth. For now, 2 spring to mind from my own Leadership Insight experience and evoke a reaction in me even now just reflecting on them:
- ‘Appraisal’ at my core; it’s only a car! – Something we picked up as a trigger for me early in my report and session with Amy. How feeling my efforts might be in question impact on me much deeper than I’d realised at home as well as professionally. The work and career examples where easy to bring to mind, but it was the prompt to think closer to home that cut through & even now is hard to admit, especially over a task that as my report pinpointed for me “proved to be uninspiring – choosing a new car.But the reality of my expecting and anticipating my husbands opinion and judgment over which new car to buy, was driving my action or in this case avoidance, struggling to apply myself to such a simple task.The impact however on my confidence and feeling less adept was very real. That sense of what ever I suggest he’s going to undermine or criticise my choice, so I why bother. I wasn’t defining what I wanted and why. I was neglecting the obvious; I really wasn’t that fussy and was open to suggestion. And I wasn’t giving him any credit for how we might help each other get this simple task completed. The solution was simple – give him my wish list and let him find me a car, and that’s what we did. Worked like a dream.What was having a deeper impact though was the emotion I feel behind not wanting to disappoint or feel judged by someone that really matters to me. A pattern that plays out to varying degrees in different aspects of my life. Definitely worth knowing and working on!
- Loneliness driving a desire for meaningful connection – is not something I would ever have come to alone. And don’t get me wrong, this really does bring me to a strength and quality I know shines through for me too.This time the moment came in a session on a follow-up Leadership Intensive event, where we were working on my principles of “those who take charge, companionship and concern” alongside a trigger for me of “others’ welfare at risk”. Specifically I was asked who I sought those principles from, who really mattered and I could rely on. I remember as if it was yesterday I responded my husband, my close friend and then stopped, feeling quite upset, not being able to articulate why. Neither of them were in immediate danger. But everyone else I was searching for in my head had their work challenges, pulls in life that meant I was pulling away from them. Yet at the same time seeking connection and companionship in all aspects of my work and life.Seeing from a powerful yet place of real loneliness why I love the job that I do, why I get so much from connecting with others and where it comes from in my earliest of years talking to passers by on my parents doorstep, to acting the but of jokes as a teenager and has a time and a place.People and connection is so important to me, but not losing my voice and not hesitating in expressing my needs, drawing boundaries and channeling my energy in new ways is already having a great impact on how I lead and build my business and relationships.
So a blog by nature should be personal, tick that’s achieved. Whether it inspires you to reflect or find out more about Leadership Insight, only you can decide.
For me, I’m really fired up now, having sharpened some of my thinking I’m ready to get into my exploration of emotion, leadership and the impact of working on them. It’s brave move I’m so glad I’ve made.
Look out for the paper coming later this year and have a great day!